Q. Who is Gloria the Animal Crossing Duck?
A. A white duck with purple feathers and large eyelashes. She qualifies under the "Snooty" character type.
Q. What does that mean?
A. "Snooty" animals exist to be assholes. Gloria appears to be the worst of the bunch.
Q. Why is she called "Gloria"?
A. Gloria SWANson. Geddit? GET IT? HUH? FUNNY? SHE'S A DUCK. SWANS ARE KIND OF LIKE DUCKS.
Q. You're an adult. Why are you playing this children's game?
A. Because my psychiatrist prescribed it. I wish I was joking about that.
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