Q. Are they the Freshmaker?
A. Fresh is not made. Fresh has existed since before the sun illuminated the heavens and Fresh shall exist until the last star has fallen from the sky. Fresh is all things as Fresh is nothing, and therefore, Fresh is a god.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Questions regarding Agony and Despair
Q. What is agony?
A. A sensation.
Q. What is despair?
A. An emotion.
Q. Are they the same thing?
A. No.
Q. Which is worse?
A. Both are equally miserable.
Q. If I'm in agony, and I don't feel despair, should I worry?
A. Usually no. Not having both sensations at once is generally considered good. Well, as good as it can get while experiencing either agony or despair.
Q. What about failure, is failure like agony and despair?
A. Yes, but worse.
Q. Are you an agonized, despairing failure?
A. You bet.
A. A sensation.
Q. What is despair?
A. An emotion.
Q. Are they the same thing?
A. No.
Q. Which is worse?
A. Both are equally miserable.
Q. If I'm in agony, and I don't feel despair, should I worry?
A. Usually no. Not having both sensations at once is generally considered good. Well, as good as it can get while experiencing either agony or despair.
Q. What about failure, is failure like agony and despair?
A. Yes, but worse.
Q. Are you an agonized, despairing failure?
A. You bet.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Questions regarding Lu brand Le Petit Ecolier Biscuits
Q. What are Lu brand Le Petit Ecolier Biscuits?
A. "Butter biscuits topped with pure milk chocolate". And stamped with an effeminate French schoolboy onthem.
Q. Are they edible?
A. Edible? DEVOURABLE.
Q. Are they cookie or candy?
A. The scientific proven Missing Link betwixt BOTH.
Q. What do they want?
A. Revenge.
Q. Can they be stopped?
A. No.
A. "Butter biscuits topped with pure milk chocolate". And stamped with an effeminate French schoolboy onthem.
Q. Are they edible?
A. Edible? DEVOURABLE.
Q. Are they cookie or candy?
A. The scientific proven Missing Link betwixt BOTH.
Q. What do they want?
A. Revenge.
Q. Can they be stopped?
A. No.
Questions regarding Answers
Q. Do all questions have answers?
A. No. Some questions have long drawn out sighs of exasperation.
Q. Like this one?
A. *sigh* uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh
Q. Which is more important, the question, or the answer?
A. A great deal of people might say that the question is just as important as the answer. They are wrong. Usually, they are white people who own New Age tzotchke stores and talk about their "Native American ancestry" like they're talking about D&D characters, and are usually wearing airbrushed wolf t-shirts. The answer is the key part of the interaction, otherwise you're just talking with a slight upward lilt and that is annoying (plz see yesterday's post).
Q. Do you not like New Agers?
A. I have no real opinion on New Agers, I'm just against airbrushed wolf t-shirts.
A. No. Some questions have long drawn out sighs of exasperation.
Q. Like this one?
A. *sigh* uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh
Q. Which is more important, the question, or the answer?
A. A great deal of people might say that the question is just as important as the answer. They are wrong. Usually, they are white people who own New Age tzotchke stores and talk about their "Native American ancestry" like they're talking about D&D characters, and are usually wearing airbrushed wolf t-shirts. The answer is the key part of the interaction, otherwise you're just talking with a slight upward lilt and that is annoying (plz see yesterday's post).
Q. Do you not like New Agers?
A. I have no real opinion on New Agers, I'm just against airbrushed wolf t-shirts.
Questions regarding Questions
Q. What is a question?
A. A "question" may be either a linguistic expression used to make a request for information, or else the request itself made by such an expression. This information is provided with an retort called "an answer".
Q. What is The Question?
A. An author-proxy of Steve Ditko during the height of his Objectivist phase.
Q. Is The Question cool?
A. Not really. It was made cool by Alan Moore, who turned it into Rorshach for Watchmen.
Q. Who is The Question?
A. Currently Renee Montoya, a Hispanic Lesbian ex-police cop.
Q. Why?
A. To really stick it to Ditko.
Q. How do we know when we're being asked a question?
A. In spoken form, a slightly irritating upward lilt at the end of the sentence. In written form, the question mark (?). If the end of every sentence is in a slightly irritating upward lilt, you are not hearing questions, just the accent of an Australian.
Q. Do Australians understand that this is annoying?
A. Not likely, as Australians are rarely sentient.
Q. What is the best way to answer a question?
Q. With another question?
Q. That's not fair. Try again.
S. That's not a question, that's a command. And this is a statement.
C. ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION.
A. The Buddha said there are four ways to answer any question: Straightforwardly (yes, no, ask again later, outlook hazy), answers that clarify the question ("I think you mean..."), answers that should be answered with a counter-question and answers that should be shelved for later.
As the Buddha is generally regarded to be the most obnoxious man of all time, take those as you will. For example, anybody who answers a question with a clarification of what the question meant should be killed.
Q. How?
A. Brutally.
Q. What are the most important questions to ask?
A. The kind that get one labeled in such a way as to be a new kind of Smurf. "Quixotic Smurf," for instance, "Curmudgeonly Smurf," "Histrionic Smurf" and "Desperate Smurf" are all reasonable question-scenarios.
Q. Which Smurf are you?
A. "Angry Smurf".
A. A "question" may be either a linguistic expression used to make a request for information, or else the request itself made by such an expression. This information is provided with an retort called "an answer".
Q. What is The Question?
A. An author-proxy of Steve Ditko during the height of his Objectivist phase.
Q. Is The Question cool?
A. Not really. It was made cool by Alan Moore, who turned it into Rorshach for Watchmen.
Q. Who is The Question?
A. Currently Renee Montoya, a Hispanic Lesbian ex-police cop.
Q. Why?
A. To really stick it to Ditko.
Q. How do we know when we're being asked a question?
A. In spoken form, a slightly irritating upward lilt at the end of the sentence. In written form, the question mark (?). If the end of every sentence is in a slightly irritating upward lilt, you are not hearing questions, just the accent of an Australian.
Q. Do Australians understand that this is annoying?
A. Not likely, as Australians are rarely sentient.
Q. What is the best way to answer a question?
Q. With another question?
Q. That's not fair. Try again.
S. That's not a question, that's a command. And this is a statement.
C. ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION.
A. The Buddha said there are four ways to answer any question: Straightforwardly (yes, no, ask again later, outlook hazy), answers that clarify the question ("I think you mean..."), answers that should be answered with a counter-question and answers that should be shelved for later.
As the Buddha is generally regarded to be the most obnoxious man of all time, take those as you will. For example, anybody who answers a question with a clarification of what the question meant should be killed.
Q. How?
A. Brutally.
Q. What are the most important questions to ask?
A. The kind that get one labeled in such a way as to be a new kind of Smurf. "Quixotic Smurf," for instance, "Curmudgeonly Smurf," "Histrionic Smurf" and "Desperate Smurf" are all reasonable question-scenarios.
Q. Which Smurf are you?
A. "Angry Smurf".
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